Erma Does Not Live Here!

Spindletop's Second Boom

Dear God, Santa, Easter Bunny and whomever currently leads the Branch Davidians:

Please give me ONE more oil boom and I swear I won’t piss it into to the wind and live carelessly.

I promise to only BUY domestic champagne and I wont even drink Harlans Estate hatched before 2001. I will stop referring to Screaming Eagle as “TBoone Kool-aid or Jesus Juice.”

I will swear off ALL Robin’s egg blue boxes back-piling in my closet and will even consider a moratorium on the  orange boxes, with the caveat that I will splurge on a full set of Alexandra Knight private plane luggage- but will settle for Mississippi Gator shot by people that really need the income.

I won’t have my puppies teeth on my Rose Tarlow – nor will I have people I don’t know flippantly put their private parts on Rose or Christian Liagre. When I have it all recovered I swear I will have Laura Hunt teach me the word “budget” in three languages… New Yawker, Blonde Texan and Cajun French when shopping on Magazine Street.

I promise to stop acting like the Willie Horton of Trophy wives and won’t even give PageSix/Texas Monthly anything to write about for at least 8 Quarterly earnings Calls!

I won’t throw a dinner parties for those with titles in front of their name (Esp. Sir Allen Stanford) — if I must have a dinner I promise to substitute imported fish eggs with domestic Gulf Coast Oysters.

I will even start “car pool” for Net Jet Hours — not one seat will EVER go empty on a plane ending in the tail letters “QS”!!

I promise not to be quoted about the price of oil at the Collections in Paris, New York and on whatever web page the Democratic Underground blasts me from.

I truly consider this pledge to be almost recycling for a Republican

Wheels up….Together we stand!

Kristi Kay