I am Rosie’s Granddaughter
January 17, 2010 at 5:23 pm | In Sher | 6 Comments
Sadie Loves a Sigma
I got scared.
A few days ago, someone I’ve never met decided that I am well worth hating. While I was on the phone with his wife (who also hates me), I could hear him screaming at me in the background.
Over and over he said my name and over and over he told me how he would make me pay. To him, I was more than an f’n bitch – which you’ll be happy to know he thinks I am. I was a C -U – next Tuesday, which of course is the Grand Supreme of all the hate laden swear words.
I kept my cool for the duration. I lowered my voice, spoke in even tones and did my best to sound all together unaffected. When I hung up the phone though, I was shaking like it was 10 below in the house and I started to sob so hard, it felt like I would lose my breath. So afraid and shaken up, I couldn’t even form words.
This bad guy knows where I live. If he truly wanted to, he could be here in less than an hour and attempt to make good on his threats. That terrified me. It still does.
I’m trying to be a big girl. I’m trying to stop looking behind shower curtains and under beds, and when the dogs bark, I am actually saying to myself, “It’s OK.”
I remind myself who I am pretty much hourly at this point and who I am is the granddaughter of a 90 LB bad ass mountain woman if ever there was one.
Rosie was the only girl in a family of boys, and she was tough as nails. She could climb any tree; beat any boy’s natural ass; wring a chicken’s neck and fry it it up all before her brothers got their boots on. When I was growing up if she walked outside to hang laundry and a snake had the misfortune of crossing her path, she’d chop its old head off throwing its tail in one direction and its head in the other. When there was a noise in our house, it wasn’t PawPaw that went to investigate. Off Rosie would go with a flashlight and a scowl and I shudder to think what would have happened to anyone she’d have caught fooling around the property.
If anyone had said such a thing to her as this man said to me, she might have took it and went on down the road, but she surely NEVER would have let that son of a gun get under her skin. And God forbid anyone would have ever spoken to me in such a way and she’d have found out about it. He’d have been peeling a tiny, Southern, redneck piece of fresh hell off his skin for weeks.
So I have to toughen up now. I have to stop being a scared little girl and get back to being Sherri – Rosie’s granddaughter. If that bastard wants to come and screw with me, he best pack a lunch because despite the nosebleed hooker heels I will undoubtedly have on when we tussle, I am a hell cat and I fight dirty.
Oh. And the pretty Sigma sitting at my side doesn’t hurt any either.
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Where is he? I will personally open a can of whoop-ass all over him and I’ve got the mini-bat to do it! I mean it! The “C-U-Next-Tuesday” is the ultimate of insults and I will despise for LIFE anyone who would deign to insult or hurt you.
Email me woman!
Comment by Carol/Tide — January 17, 2010 #
Thank you, Tide. It’s nice to know I have you in my corner.
Comment by Sher — January 17, 2010 #
Here I was about to pack up and drive to Kansas to help protect my Moonpie eating little sister, and then you reminded me that you’re all full of Rosie’s DNA and whatnot. You just saved me a butt-load of gas. Thanks.
If Rosie reads Erma, she’s going to put a haunted hurting on that Certain Un-Named Terrorist.
Comment by RICK — January 17, 2010 #
I still ‘have-bat-will-travel.’
Comment by Carol/Tide — January 17, 2010 #
I also come from a long line of “meaner’n a boot full of barbed wire” women. Obviously, the aforementioned ba$tard doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. We got your back darling, and will pop a cap in his hind quarters whenever needed. Hang in there and never let the asshat see you glisten. (Cause we don’t sweat, right?)
Comment by Dawn — January 18, 2010 #
as my best girl Ryland taught me, “Kharma’s but a BITCH. . .” The Mean Wimp’s Syphilis will flare up and set his crotch-a-fire by sunrise.
Comment by Tammy — February 1, 2010 #